"Aum bhoor bhuwah swaha, tat sat vitur varenyam bhargo devasya dheemahi dhiyo yo nah prachodayat"- Mantra of starting a new relationship, mantra of marriage, mantra of making a couple into one person.
MARRIAGE MEANS compromises, both bride and the groom have to compromise and mend fences to get to the centre and become well matched, unless they have somehow been lucky enough to fit together perfectly. A person may never remain the same after marriage, there is always a change and most of it is due to a compromise.Both bride and the groom have to compromise and give and take for the marriage to work, if they both want everything on an equal basis, then it ends up in fights and arguments.
A question often comes to our mind - what makes a marriage strong? Is it the understanding and compromises or is it the wedding vows, where each phera has a meaning and each step takes two individuals and ties them into one.
When we talk about wedding, every caste has its own way of organising and using their own religious rituals, which start by greetings of the bridegroom, bride, family and friends. The wedding starts with -
Kanya Agaman (Arrival of the Bride): The bridesmaids and the father escort the bride to the mandap (nuptial canopy).
Jai Mala (Exchange of Garlands): The priest guides the couple to the mandap (nuptial canopy). Bride welcomes the groom with a floral garland and groom garlands the bride. This exchange symbolises formal acceptance and respect.
Prarthna Mantra (Prayer): Chanting of the great Gayatri mantra to invoke the blessings of the supreme lord.
Madhupak (Offerings): Bride offers the mixture of honey and yoghurt to the groom. Honey symbolises the sweetness of eternal love and yoghurt for the sake of his eternal good health and nutrition.
Aachaman (Purification): Sipping the water three times for the purification of the heart and body.
Agni Pradipan: Kindling of sacred fire. The wedding is made solemn before Agni (fire), the symbol of knowledge, power, and purity, as a principle witness to the ceremony.
Kanya Daan (Giving the hand of the bride): The prime wealth of a Hindu household is the daughter (Kanya), who symbolises the Hindu Goddess of Wealth (Lakshmi). Bride’s parents then place her hands into the groom’s and pour holy water over them to finalise the gesture of gift giving (transfer of wealth). Bride’s father requests groom to accept his daughter as an equal partner in all walks of life. It is noted in Vedic scriptures that there is no “Daana” (gift) greater than kanya daan (giving a daughters hand in marriage). Groom promises to accept bride as his equal life partner.
Jaya Home (Offerings): Offerings to the sacred fire emphasise the couples’ joint responsibility in maintaining the love and dignity of their union.
Paani Graham (Accepting the Hand): The bridegroom holds the hand of the bride and both of them solemnly pledge before God that they have become one and will forever love each other and remain mutually devoted for the remainder of their lives.
Pledges (Exchange of vows): The priest reads the solemn union declaration. The bride and bridegroom exchange the holy marriage vows.
Mangal Phere: Bride’s brother puts rice in the hands of the bride and groom to offer to Agni (the Lord of Fire) who dispels darkness and ignorance while leading into light and knowledge. The couple then walks around the sacred fire. Each round represents the four basic goals of human life: Dharma: Moral sense to lead a good life, Artha: Financial prosperity, Kama: Blessing for strong, virtuous children and to share the responsibilities of home, Moksha: Self-restraint and eternal physical, mental and spiritual strength. Together, the four goals symbolise the couple’s commitment to each other, the community and the cosmos. During the first three rounds, bride leads the groom and during the last round groom leads.
Shila Rohan: A rock is placed in the Northeast corner of the mandap. While the bride places her right foot on a piece of rock, groom recites a hymn - the Ashma Bhava. The statement is to encourage his wife to be as strong as the rock and to be firm towards any difficulties of life they may face together. Rice and flowers are sprinkled on the couple by her parents, relatives and friends.
Saptapadi (Seven steps): The bride and groom take seven steps forward together, symbolising the beginning of their journey through life. These steps signify the guiding principles of life.
Each of these steps represents the vows made by the couple:
First step - together we will love, cherish and respect one another from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health ... forever.
Second step - together we will create a home full of joy and laughter, where we find serenity and strength.
Third step - together we will share a steadily deepening love, which grows in understanding and unselfishness.
Fourth step - together we will embrace each other’s family as well as our own yet to come.
Fifth step - let us have a measure of patience and forgive with grace.
Sixth step - together we will develop a sense of value that we may care for people more than possessions, for honour more than wealth, and for the dimensions of a home more than the details of a house.
Seventh step - let us forever be best friends and partners, and share each other’s ideas and ideals. The couple is now united and will pray for the blessings from God. The father-in-law offers the bride a sacred necklace.
Sindhoor Daan: The bridegroom puts sindhoor (Red Powder) in the parting of the bride’s hair and welcomes her into his life as his eternal partner. The newly wedded couple touches the feet and takes blessings from the parents of both families.
Akhand Subhagyavati: Married women from the bride’s family come forth to wish her eternal happiness.
Aashirvaad: All guests and relatives recite a hymn with the priest to wish the couple good luck, prosperity and a long, happy married life together.
Shanti Path: Hymn of peace, which ends the special day with blessing from god and loved ones.
This is the actual step of our Hindu wedding rituals, which leads a couple to the journey of new life.
When we talk about wedding, every caste has its own way of organising and using their own religious rituals, which start by greetings of the bridegroom, bride, family and friends. The wedding starts with -
Kanya Agaman (Arrival of the Bride): The bridesmaids and the father escort the bride to the mandap (nuptial canopy).
Jai Mala (Exchange of Garlands): The priest guides the couple to the mandap (nuptial canopy). Bride welcomes the groom with a floral garland and groom garlands the bride. This exchange symbolises formal acceptance and respect.
Prarthna Mantra (Prayer): Chanting of the great Gayatri mantra to invoke the blessings of the supreme lord.
Madhupak (Offerings): Bride offers the mixture of honey and yoghurt to the groom. Honey symbolises the sweetness of eternal love and yoghurt for the sake of his eternal good health and nutrition.
Aachaman (Purification): Sipping the water three times for the purification of the heart and body.
Agni Pradipan: Kindling of sacred fire. The wedding is made solemn before Agni (fire), the symbol of knowledge, power, and purity, as a principle witness to the ceremony.
Kanya Daan (Giving the hand of the bride): The prime wealth of a Hindu household is the daughter (Kanya), who symbolises the Hindu Goddess of Wealth (Lakshmi). Bride’s parents then place her hands into the groom’s and pour holy water over them to finalise the gesture of gift giving (transfer of wealth). Bride’s father requests groom to accept his daughter as an equal partner in all walks of life. It is noted in Vedic scriptures that there is no “Daana” (gift) greater than kanya daan (giving a daughters hand in marriage). Groom promises to accept bride as his equal life partner.
Jaya Home (Offerings): Offerings to the sacred fire emphasise the couples’ joint responsibility in maintaining the love and dignity of their union.
Paani Graham (Accepting the Hand): The bridegroom holds the hand of the bride and both of them solemnly pledge before God that they have become one and will forever love each other and remain mutually devoted for the remainder of their lives.
Pledges (Exchange of vows): The priest reads the solemn union declaration. The bride and bridegroom exchange the holy marriage vows.
Mangal Phere: Bride’s brother puts rice in the hands of the bride and groom to offer to Agni (the Lord of Fire) who dispels darkness and ignorance while leading into light and knowledge. The couple then walks around the sacred fire. Each round represents the four basic goals of human life: Dharma: Moral sense to lead a good life, Artha: Financial prosperity, Kama: Blessing for strong, virtuous children and to share the responsibilities of home, Moksha: Self-restraint and eternal physical, mental and spiritual strength. Together, the four goals symbolise the couple’s commitment to each other, the community and the cosmos. During the first three rounds, bride leads the groom and during the last round groom leads.
Shila Rohan: A rock is placed in the Northeast corner of the mandap. While the bride places her right foot on a piece of rock, groom recites a hymn - the Ashma Bhava. The statement is to encourage his wife to be as strong as the rock and to be firm towards any difficulties of life they may face together. Rice and flowers are sprinkled on the couple by her parents, relatives and friends.
Saptapadi (Seven steps): The bride and groom take seven steps forward together, symbolising the beginning of their journey through life. These steps signify the guiding principles of life.
Each of these steps represents the vows made by the couple:
First step - together we will love, cherish and respect one another from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health ... forever.
Second step - together we will create a home full of joy and laughter, where we find serenity and strength.
Third step - together we will share a steadily deepening love, which grows in understanding and unselfishness.
Fourth step - together we will embrace each other’s family as well as our own yet to come.
Fifth step - let us have a measure of patience and forgive with grace.
Sixth step - together we will develop a sense of value that we may care for people more than possessions, for honour more than wealth, and for the dimensions of a home more than the details of a house.
Seventh step - let us forever be best friends and partners, and share each other’s ideas and ideals. The couple is now united and will pray for the blessings from God. The father-in-law offers the bride a sacred necklace.
Sindhoor Daan: The bridegroom puts sindhoor (Red Powder) in the parting of the bride’s hair and welcomes her into his life as his eternal partner. The newly wedded couple touches the feet and takes blessings from the parents of both families.
Akhand Subhagyavati: Married women from the bride’s family come forth to wish her eternal happiness.
Aashirvaad: All guests and relatives recite a hymn with the priest to wish the couple good luck, prosperity and a long, happy married life together.
Shanti Path: Hymn of peace, which ends the special day with blessing from god and loved ones.
This is the actual step of our Hindu wedding rituals, which leads a couple to the journey of new life.
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